I have been internally tormented by terrible songs, or worse yet, certain portions or choruses only of terrible songs, for as long as I can remember. Like writing down nightmares in order to help exorcise demons, I have decided to document my “soundtrack” as it plays. This is what I have noted so far:
- “Dirty Laundry” by Don Henley plays at the start of my acknowledging the laundry monster, and doesn’t stop entirely until all the clean laundry is sorted and put away.
- “Cruel to be Kind”, apparently a one-hit wonder by a man named Nick Lowe (I would have sworn it was Elvis Costello but I’m sure I insult him by that comment), plays whenever my brain reassures me that my tough love was entirely in order with my 3 year old.
- “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now” by Starship. Ugh, this one is terrible and unrelenting. Of all can-do anthems, this one??? Why, God, why??
- “The Humpty Dance” by Digital Underground. Whenever anyone says, “stop what you’re doing” (which, really, how often is that? I guess more often than you’d think considering how often this loop plays in my head….) the lyrics start circling around in my head: “All right, stop what you’re doin’, ’cause I’m about to ruin the image and the style that you’re used to. I look funny, but yo, I’m makin’ money….” See? Now it plagues your head too.
- “Buttermilk Biscuits” by Sir-Mix-a-Lot. This is an obscure track that plays pretty much anytime I start thinking about, or anyone mentions, biscuits.