We Love You, Mr. Banks
A few months ago, when I posted “One Conversation about Running, with Some Idiot who Only Runs if Chased”, Manchild became a bit sensitive about his…
The Freedom Shakes
I just returned this week from a girls’ trip with 3 friends, a mixture of old and new. I had an amazing time for 2 full…
The Post-Apocalypse Chronicles: In Which The Children Have Grown Entirely of Their Own Accord, and Are Seen Dining in Public
Zombie apocalypse stories! They’re everywhere! So many different scenarios detailing how an Armageddon comes about, and what the protagonist does to survive. Many family meals in…
GETHSEMANI NOW!
I have, somehow, a few friends who didn’t watch Seinfeld, and you know I am so very confused by you. For the rest of you, you…
Adventures in Unsolicited Speech Interventions
In the Beginning was the Silent Word As a child, it frustrated me when I spoke and people indicated they couldn’t hear me. I gather I…
Know the Facts: Kids Are Scary
No, I don’t mean, “My kids are SCARY CUTE!” or “It’s scary how fast they grow up” or “My darlings are little monsters, haha!” That’s not…
Kindergarten Pt 2: Dear Girlchild on your First Day of College….
This letter will be 13 years old by the time you read it. I just finished folding your laundry. Smoothing over edges and fabric patterns. Picturing…
Kindergarten Pt. 1: Drills and Death Metal Mama
Preparing to adapt to Girlchild’s new kindergarten schedule and commute has been weighing on my mind all summer. She is attending kindergarten at a private school…
Top Awesomes Revealed About My Skin
By the experts. “Casper” –Missouri middle-schoolers “Oh, wow…um, I’ll try to match your skin color but, gosh, your skin is almost translucent. I mean, there’s almost…
Weird Guys Looking at Me Naked
Oh, it’s okay, it’s possible they don’t even like girls. Listen, Lush Cosmetics, I’m pretty smitten with you. You make things that are supposedly handmade (although,…
Don't Repeat This in Preschool 