(This made more sense when I still had a preschooler.)

2013 Holiday Whatever

img003This year we visited:  Florida to see family, friends, dolphins and The Mouse; Kentucky to see family and caves; Isle of Palms to see family and beaches.  Emily also had a fun girls’ trip in Door County.

Boychild eats like Buddy the Elf, practices dictatorship skills, loves to wait until the last minute to use the toilet, and enjoys occasional ER visits for croup cough.  He also sings Starship’s “We Built This City” while building with Legos.  Other hobbies include collecting rocks, particularly rare varieties of gravel in mass quantity.  We send him to pre-kindergarten for peace and quiet, and his education there is a side benefit.

Girlchild, in 1st grade, puts up with the rest of us, leaving sometimes for tennis lessons or Scouts.   She loves to pretend to be Cleopatra, a cat, a puppy, an angel, a wizard, Annie (I’m always chosen to play Miss Hannigan so I liken it to the fact that my acting skills are on par with Carol Burnett’s), Rapunzel (I’m chosen to play Mother Gothel), and other Disney characters.  Girlchild pretty much likes pretending she’s anywhere but here.  She’s also the Jane Goodall of insects, fearing neither hordes of infant praying mantises nor giant adult praying mantises.

Mr. Banks would like to invest in a water distillery since he is always out purchasing bottles of the stuff for our vaporizers and the like.  More and more each day, he loves his commute of over an hour into the city.  Hobbies include running away from us for “exercise”, coaching me on my parking, tripping over toys, selling strollers on Craig’s List, and discovering new craft beers.

I enjoy getting into fights with lasers and getting shot up with pollen and dander serums.  I have also experimented in the garden with growing bunnies side-by-side with garlic, with surprising success.  I’m proud to report my blog has received critical acclaim this year, most notably this review from a relative: “Only people who have no life read it.”  Pop that champagne!

Dogchild has really begun strutting with some arrogance, and we’ve heard him singing “I AM a DOG!” under his breath.  We think he may have gotten into some Kanye.  Dogchild’s interests include advocating for backyard vermin and abandoning his terrier heritage in order to become a bird dog or water dog.  He still hates the sound of a good sneeze.

And, it is with sadness that we share with you the loss of 2 of our family members.  The sump pump enjoyed creating spontaneous indoor wading pools for us twice this year.  We love surprises!  But unfortunately the pump didn’t make it through the second flooding.  Financing the solution has set us up for our spring vacation, which will most likely entail admiring the new pumps and staring at a poster of a sunset on a cement basement wall.  And of course we say goodbye to our former television, just 3 years young.  It went to the light during overtime in the Bears v. Ravens game.   Such an ill-timed tragedy.

Anyway, Christmas Tidings to Ye All, and May All Your Holiday Libations Be Robust!

The Schleigers

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